I've been struggling recently with keeping my anxiety at bay. One of the key things I've been working at is this: even if you feel like complete shit, act as "if" you don't. This is all from William James, but you can see the influence in lots of contemporary self-help manuals, blogs, articles, therapies, etc.

Do one small thing to counteract the negative voice inside that says, "No, no you can't. You're a failure already. No." Act as if your inner voice always says, "Yes." Act as if. And when you act as if, your brain will follow your body. Your action is a physical, bodily movement that ignores the doubts, the worries, the fears, the hurts, and just says, "I do. I act. I move." If we act as if often enough, we begin to build habits that structure our brains away from the doubts and toward something better: a world where we can say "yes" to ourselves.

It's an Emily Dickinson kind of day, so I'll just close with this:

I dwell in Possibility –
A fairer House than Prose –
More numerous of Windows –
Superior – for Doors –

Of Chambers as the Cedars –
Impregnable of eye –
And for an everlasting Roof
The Gambrels of the Sky –

Of Visitors – the fairest –
For Occupation – This –
The spreading wide my narrow Hands
To gather Paradise –

This 40-day challenge comes at a perfect time for me, since I recently began taking a class on mindfulness and meditation. I've also been reading a biography of William James, one of the American scholars who founded the discipline of psychology here in the U.S. One of his big ideas was that mind is activity. I really like this idea, and it's been something I can't stop thinking about lately. I'll try to explain more about why I think this concept is so fascinating, but for now, let me say that it's a big reminder to me that when I'm feeling down, I need to do something. The brain needs movement/activity/exercise as much as the body. And at the same time, the brain needs very particular kinds of movement and enough rest to counter the stresses of the world. I hope that meditation fits well into my plan to make my mind healthier and happier.

I've just begun practicing meditation using a 10-minute meditation CD that I got from my meditation teacher. My goal is to practice with this CD once a day for the next week. I was glad to see my recent issue of Cooking Light emphasize the importance of meditation in an article called "5 Mantras for a Sharper Mind":

Studies of Buddhist monks gave the first indications that meditation--deep breathing, focusing on the moment--can help change brains for the better. There's evidence that as little as half an hour a day of meditation can increase gray matter density in areas of the brain associated with learning.

I'll let you know how it goes, but for now, I'm working on building meditation into a habit. I'll be thinking about you Rhode Islanders doing your downward dogs and sleeping on the yoga mats. Tonight at my meditation class, we did 30 minutes, and aside from my foot falling asleep, I didn't notice how much time passed.

1. Why re-invent the blog, when All That Matters has already done the work for us? Meaning: I am borrowing, er, "lifting" the weekly posts from the All That Matters 40 Days blog we used when I did the program there. It covers each weekly theme, instructions for the week, and the excavation questions (read: journaling prompts) from Baron's book.

2. Once you have accepted the invitation to be a blog author, you can post whenever you like. Just go to your main Dashboard and click "New Post." This may be unnecessary info., since I think most or all of us are chez experienced bloggers, but if not, let me know and I'll give more specifics. The thing I want to emphasize, though, is that you should feel free to post at will, ask questions, write your thoughts or experiences or feelings or whatever you want, add to the links sections, post photos or videos or whatever you feel like. I want this to be a collaborative blog.

3. I have no idea how to get rid of the annoying Photo Bucket ad at the bottom of each post, but if someone else does, please feel free. It is making me question my blog design choice, and you know I already spent enough time obsessing over that. There are too many boring, dark, and overy-whimsical blog designs, I'll tell you that. I wanted an autumnal design featuring trees. Down-dog trees. Why? I'm glad  you asked.

4. What is the Down-Dog Tree? The Down-Dog Tree is an ancient mythical tree revered in India in mystical underground cults. It is thought to be extinct, but rumored to be cultivated by a secret society of monk scientists deep in the Indus Valley... Just kidding. I made it up.

5. So the blog title comes from...? Yesterday, Erin and I went to 8am yoga practice at Santosha. Classes there are nice because they integrate yoga postures as well as meditation. During our svasana at the end of class, the instructor started this guided meditation about how your feet are heavy like a rock, your legs are heavy like a rock, your head is heavy like a rock, etc. It was sort of hard to hear because the heater kept kicking on, and Erin was apparently falling asleep at this point, and I very nearly was, so it was a little hard to follow when next she started saying we should imagine a woman sitting on a rock. Erin was asleep by now and missed all of it, but I was very confused: who is the woman? Am I the woman? Am I still the rock? Is a woman sitting on me? This third-person confusion was really distracting me from being able to enjoy my meditation. Not only was the image confusing, but if you know me at all, you will understand that my writerly analytical instincts were busy at work over the very specific nature of how this was a third-person POV violation, and how the teacher should really work on this in future meditation sessions. So then she said there's a pine tree over us, growing out of the rock. She guided us to look up at the pine tree. This convinced me that yes, I am in fact the woman on the rock in question in this scenario. But I was also distracted by the image of the pine tree. I would have preferred a different type of tree. So I started thinking about what other kind of tree I would prefer in my vision. But then she was talking about the pine cones, and I realized the only thing that was going to get me through this meditation successfully was not getting distracted by my own narrative revisioning, and I needed to really commit to her pine tree. In other words, I had to let go and stop trying to control everything. Which reminded me that, yes, this is exactly one of the reasons I'm doing this 40 days of  yoga, because I know I need to let go of this need to control everything. This is a much larger issue that I'm sure I will get into more later. Anyway, the point is, Erin and I laughed about all of this after class, and I decided to name the blog 40 Days of Down-Dog Under the Pine Tree as a reminder. But I found there to be a real lack of good pine tree blog templates, and I really wasn't comfortable calling this a Pine Tree and using a picture of a Maple Tree. I mean, let's be real. But calling this 40 Days Under the Maple Tree just doesn't make any kind of sense, concretely or abstractly or symbolically or whatever. So it became a Down-Dog Tree. Aren't you glad you [didn't] ask?

6. What are NBABPWAQs? Never Before Asked But Probably Wondered About Questions. Obviously.

Week 1: Presence

Week 1: Come into Your Body through PRESENCE

Beginning Monday September 24
"In Week 1, your focus in on waking up and becoming fully present to your body, mind, and life. Most importantly, though, begin to see the underlying factors that are contributing to whenever you feel stuck in your life." Baron urges us to look beyond the form that the dysfunctions in our lives take: the overeating, self-sabotaging, dramatizing...whatever. Instead, become present to what is under these behaviors, "Seek the Truth". And he reminds us of a quote from the Bible "When you know the truth, the truth will set you free." It is time to stop trying to "heal deep wounds with surface Band-Aids." We need to get quiet enough to see the Truth. Then we will see beyond form, we will begin to know the Truth of ourselves.

1. Yoga Practice: See this section in book. Most of us will be doing our regular classes throughout the 40 days. If you have any specific questions about the practice or postures, bring them to your yoga teacher. Commit to at least 20 minutes of yoga, 6 days this week.

2. Week 1 Balancing Diet: Before the start of the 40 days, please read pages 93-98. This will help you identify your personal dietary tendencies, hot/cold, deficient/excessive. You will know what is right for you. This is good, because we are slowly eased into the dietary adjustments...nothing too drastic this week.
To-Do:
Identify yourself in the patterns of hot/cold, deficient/excessive.
Begin to include some of the foods that your body needs into your diet.

"You don't have to overhaul your entire diet all at once-this is using the brute force of your will,...willpower does not work. If you start to make the changes in smaller chunks, at whatever pace feels intuitively right for you,...you will rediscover a sense of rightful balance...One thing that will help support making these changes is your daily yoga practice. Your mat becomes a mirror, and as you step onto it every morning, you will be able to start seeing the direct effects of your diet."

3. Presence Meditation (5 minutes)
"Meditation cultivates presence." Read pg. 99. 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night.
The focus of this week's meditation is to direct our mind to the moment at hand. Using right aim and right energy (neither too much, nor too little) we practice presence. We do this by focusingour mind on this breath, not the one before or the next one, simply this breath.
Direct meditation questions to Dr. David Dwyer, or your yoga teacher.

4. Week 1 Presence Excavation Questions:

"The excavation questions will shine a light on the dark corners of your mind, where we all store the beliefs and patterns that are holding us back in life."
Remember, friends, we are committed to full participation in this process. We may believe that our thoughts are "healthy" , but our underlying beliefs are sabotaging us, unconsciously. That explains why we continue to think we are suffering, on any level, from "The world is against me, everything is wrong", to "I know I would be really happy if just this little adjustment were made...I lost 5 pounds, so-and-so did or said the right thing, I found the perfect partner, if I had more money, the right job, house..." and on and on. These thoughts reflect an underlying dissatisfaction. So lets challenge ourselves to examine those thoughts.
Please consider these questions as the week progresses, comment as you feel guided to do so:


a. How much am I taking responsibility to learn and grow from the experiences, both easy and difficult, that I have in my life?

b. What are my beliefs about:

• My body (Do I believe it is too heavy, too weak, or just right? Do I believe it serves me well?
• My relationships? (Do they nourish me? What purpose do they serve in my growth and in my life? Do I believe I am treated as I want or ought to be?)
• My work? (Is it fulfilling?)
• Spirituality?(Do I believe in a higher power?)
• Sex? (What role does it play in my life? Do I experience shame or joy around it? Do I misuse it? Do I see it as a vehicle for spiritual and emotional expression?)
• Money? (Do I believe it is the root of all evil, or does it simply give me freedom to do what I want in life? Do I have a lot of fear around making it or keeping it?)

c. When in my life am I fully present? In my job? With my partner or kids? When I am working? When I am playing? When I am alone?

d. Where in my life am I hiding? In other words, where do I privately know that I need to take more responsibility and/or become fully present?

e. Where in my life am I flirting with disaster?

1. Seek the Truth
2. Be Willing to Come Apart
3. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
4. Commit to Growth
5. Shift Your Vision
6. Drop What You Know
7. Relax with What Is
8. Remove the Rocks
9. Don't Rush the Process
10. Be True to Yourself
11. Be Still and Know
12. Understand That the Whole Is the Goal

It just so happens that 40 days from our starting date of October 22 (at least, this is the day Erin and I started our free week of yoga for National Yoga Month) is the last day of November. How perfect is that? Rather, let's call it synchronicity. Since my obsession with perfection is one of those things I suspect I will be working on over the next 38 days.

So here is a blog for us to record and share our journey. I will update the blog with quotes, links, photos, etc. to inspire us, and I hope you will too. I will also post information and inspiration from Baron Baptistes' 40 Days to Personal Revolution, including our weekly theme and journaling prompts. The way I have chosen to follow his program is to keep my own written journal as a daily record of my yoga and meditation practice, as well as a place to contemplate and answer his writing prompts corresponding to the weekly themes. How you choose to integrate his program into your own life is up to you, whether you have a copy of the book with you or not (although I think it's worth checking out of the library and following along).

So let's begin!
Namaste,
Heather